Unnatural Urges

Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree and Rising.

I am having strange, unnatural urges. Frankly, I’m a little terrified.

No, no.I haven’t broken any oversized ping-pong paddles on any bottoms recently, I haven’t strapped anything to my waistthan a toolbelt, and I’ve been downright boring in the social department.No, this is far more…unnatural.I am suffering a deep-seated yearning to…cook.Truly the End Times are upon us!

Not just that, but for the past week, I’ve had a strong nesting instinct.No, I’m not pregnant (see aforementioned boring social life in above paragraph #2).

I didn’t even realize it until I saw the look of pity on a woman’s face today when she caught sight of me leaving the Bluewater Ace Hardware with three huge bags of, um, things I needed, plus a gallon of paint.I just frowned back at her.She was thinking, probably, poor thing is going home to work, work, work!And I was thinking, oh, fun!

So somehow I ended up running errands and came home with paint, more vivid flowers to plant, a zillion little repair items, light bulbs, new underwear, batteries, rope—oops, this is beginning to sound like a different list!—weed killer, groceries….Lots of roll-up-your-sleeves work ahead and yet, I couldn’t wait to get home to do it in the beautiful spring weather.It didn’t seem like work but rather…like feathering my nest.

Maybe it’s because the girls are getting so big now and in a year Shannon will be going off to the University and Aislinn won’t be too far behind her and my nest will be empty of my girls.I don’t have children anymore—I have other women in my house.

But what I realized is that I really do enjoy making a home for my family and having that family life around me.I really do like to nest and nurture and mother.It adds a lot of warmth to my life, and I’m happy to have it.And I’m happy to plant flowers and create a beautiful home and even, when I’m not under pressure due to lack of time, to cook big family meals so that later we can sit at the dining room table with the nice china and candles and laugh and talk about our day or philosophy or what we’re working on that evening.

But the part that disturbs me most is how much I’m yearning to cook.That’s just…not natural.