The Joy of Knowing
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree and Rising.
I’m still feeling a bit euphoric, though I cannot explain why except to say that I know some things I’ve wanted most in the past year are now manifesting. Not that anyone else can see them or that logic would dictate. If I said what it was, you’d call me crazy and harp on your doubts. Yet they are certainly coming to fruition.
I’ve felt hints of it for the past week and more but yesterday afternoon, sudden waves of love washed over me. I would be hard-pressed to describe the last time I felt something like this. The closest would be at the end of a particularly powerful ritual, like after my Third Degree elevation, or an amazing epiphany.
There was no particular obvious reason for such sudden rapture hitting me at my desk at work, in the middle of a very boring task, no less. (not a rapturous place!) I enjoyed it for at least half an hour before I started trying to analyze it and figure out where it was coming from and second guess all the reasons that might have a negative meaning for me in the long run. I shoved all the mental self-sabotage aside—which quickly blocked the great feeling and turned it sickly—and the original feeling returned a little later. Just absolute joy.
If we manifest things by thinking about them and then feeling them, oh, I was feeling it! But the knowing…I suddenly knew things were manifesting.
On the way home, I kept thinking of Raven Grimassi and his wife, Stephanie Taylor, and our talk at the Florida Pagan Gathering. Just before she headed off to teach a workshop on witches and manifestation, Stephanie had asked me about something in particular and I told her, a little dejectedly, that I hoped so. She informed me that a witch doesn’t hope or have faith that or believe that. No, a witch knows. That’s something that’s stuck with me, especially in learning more about the Law of Attraction.
When you absolutely know something is happening and it doesn’t matter how you know or when it’s going to happen or how it’s coming to you, then you can feel it manifesting. It feels like it’s coming quickly…like it’s right here in front of you.
I was so euphoric by the time I got home last night that I had to take a long walk, first chance I got. By then, it was dark and the moonlight was bright on the trees, leaving dappled moonlit shadows on the ground under a starry sky. I walked down to where I often see fireflies in summer, feeling so good about everything and knowing things were happening. Things were moving. Manifesting. On the walk back home, I heard owls in the trees above me.
Still feeling wonderful, I paused at my Light Altar and noticed some things had moved. Which was strange because the girls weren’t home and hadn’t been home since my last stop in front of the altar. There was an open space—due to the moved items—near my Goddess statue and I thought of how I used to set my teardrop-shaped amber there and wished for it again. Except I knew it would turn up.
For several days now, I’ve been seeing it in my mind’s eye and knowing it would return to me. It’s one of my favorite tools and one used specifically for manifesting. I lost it on my trip to the Florida Pagan Gathering in Ocala last October and looked for it for weeks. I took the red suitcase where I’d last seen it apart, literally taking out the lining and going through the pockets repeatedly. Even the girls went through it to make sure I hadn’t missed it. Nothing. I never surrendered hope, though. I always believed I would find it again when the time was right.
Last night, while I was feeling great and knowing things were manifesting, the time was right. I opened the suitcase to pack it for a weekend trip and there, in the front pocket I’d been through 300 times since returning from Ocala, was the amber teardrop, laughing at me and telling me that it was there for manifestation and the time is now right for things to manifest that could not last autumn.
Sometimes things just have to line up, and 2007 is all about everything lining up for the amazing events that are coming in 2008. I know it.