Law of Attraction: Healing Comes in Strange Ways
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Love in the Third Degree.
I guess this is the week for big insights. Two big ones in two days.
A couple of years ago, I met someone while attending a healing circle. He was interesting and gave me some advice that was extremely helpful to me in difficult times. I enjoyed our conversation, and he promised to give me information on a particular subject the next time we ran into each other. He asked me to ask questions and told me he would answer them.
A few weeks later, I ran into him out of town, and this time, I was armed with a list of questions. We were to talk about some spiritual matters then, plus he had some important information to pass on to me about a man who’d been in my life and no longer was at that moment. I admit, I was very curious about what he had to tell me. Someone else manipulated his attention and steered him away for a personal consultation, and I never saw him again. I always wondered what it was he’d been ready to tell me.
Today, 23 months later, I got the answer, and it was something I really needed to heal a long-lost relationship that still had its claws in me. This healing came in the most unusual way. Not that it doesn’t sting to hear, but there’s an odd satisfaction in it, too, that perhaps shows a lack in my character, but what the hell.
I had an appointment with a woman who had some spiritual teachings of interest to me, and I was excited about talking to her. However, at the time of the appointment, with me standing in front of her, she let another woman take my spot and told me I needed an appointment. I told her I had one. See? There’s my name on the appointment book. She told me I’d have to make an appointment. I told her again that I had one, that I was right ahead of the woman now sitting at her desk and I was on a short timeline. She shrugged it off and said the other woman had already come in and oh well, and so I’d have to wait another hour.
Frankly? It pissed me off. I had gone to see her with the idea of attracting exactly the information I needed for a certain career decision. I had already been there for a couple of hours with my name on her appointment list. I knew someone would be there with the answer I was looking for, but I didn’t know who. Her son had handed me her resume while I was talking to a shopkeeper and I’d taken it as a sign that oh, there’s the person I’m being drawn to for the information I need. She was, among other things, a life coach and counselor and doing much of the kind of thing I’d like to do. The energy didn’t feel right when I met her but for some reason, I had to wait for her.
But her lack of concern and her inability to follow her own schedule went against my grain. I decided that she was not the one to give me the information I was attracting to me.
While I was rather angrily walking away, a wave of energy hit me in my third and fourth chakras. Something was up. Something important to get my attention. I passed a man talking to a woman and heard his gentleness in their conversation. He was counseling her on a heartbreak and it charmed me that he was so gentle with her when she was hurting. I thought it was too bad that he wasn’t a life coach who could give me the info I was seeking.
I walked to the bathroom before leaving and my legs started shaking so hard that I could barely stand. My third and fourth chakras were on fire and I was vibrating at such a high rate, I must have been glowing. I was supposed to talk to this man. I wasn’t sure why or what to ask.
I went back just as the woman was thanking him and leaving and told him I was supposed to talk to him. He knew. He suggested I sit down and he asked my name.
And then I knew him. He was the man who’d advised me two years ago. I had not recognized him.
He told me exactly the coaching information I was looking for, including advice on speaking and workshops and how to set things up.
But he told me something else, too. Something he might have told me two years ago. He told me about the man in my past.
My favorite sappy movie is the Christmas-themed “It’s A Wonderful Life,” about the effect one person can have on the lives of others and what’s missing if they’re missing from someone else’s life.
He told me about what’s going on in this man’s life now that I’m not in his life. At one point, when I was a part of it, things had seemed bright and full of possibility. We’d talked about some possible collaborations that would have been great for both of us. I always thought he would have that fantastic life and all the dreams we talked about together, even though I was no longer in his life.
Years have passed, times have changed. This information was there for me two years ago but only now do I hear it. All this time, I thought he was laughing it up and having a great time without me. Not exactly.
Without me in life, he’s getting his ass kicked right now and that’s likely to get worse. I found out today that I was the catalyst for good things that were coming to him because I wouldn’t treat him as others did and I insisted on certain behaviors. I was the catalyst? I never thought of it that way. Yes. Catalyst. Or would have been if he’d stuck with it. Now, instead of having everything he’d wanted and me rather joyfully helping to make things happen for him, he is facing the death of his dreams. He is moments away from losing everything. Like other things today, this makes me sad. I was in his life to help him change his patterns and he chose not to. I was there as a transforming force for him and didn’t know it.
But he knew it.
So I’m sad, and yet, at the same time, there’s a weird satisfaction to know that my absence in his life is severely felt. Think I’ll burn in hell for feeling that way? Hmmm, no, been there, done that. Instead, there’s a wave of healing for something that was wounded a long time ago.
Maybe it’s finally getting the acknowledgement that I was important in his life.