The Real Secret of the Law of Attraction

Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree of Contrast.

I’ve heard about  the Law of Attraction  for decades and for at  least the last five or six years, as part of my spiritual study, I’ve understood it and tried to follow it.

Attract Him Back

Like many (most?) who are attracted to the Law of Attraction for whatever reason, I attracted the wrong things. Not always. But I did attract a lot of what I didn’t want. Probably no place more so than in the romance  department over the past couple of years. I’d prefer to be alone to what’s  been  readily  available  to me, thank  you very much.

Part of starting over meant finding out what I didn’t want as well as what I did, though there was a whole lot more of what I didn’t want out there. An abundance of what I didn’t want.

The whole idea behind the Law of Attraction  is that you attract to  you what you focus on. For most of us, that’s what we think about,  and  boy, do I do a lot of thinking. Can’t help it. All that Aquarius in  my  chart, I guess, but I’ve always been a thinker. Sometimes  I overanalyze to the point of talking myself out of something and sometimes I  have to think so much to talk myself into it. And other times—ha!—I don’t’ think about it at all.

But here’s the surprise. You may attract to you what you think about but the way it manifests has a lot more to do with the way you feel about it than how you think about it. For example, you may think about money all the time, but  if  the  way  you  feel about  money  is  negative—say, dread of not having enough or how your stomach does flip-flops when  you  think  about  being  broke, then  it’s money  problems  you’re  more  likely  to  attract  because you’re  sending  out  that  feeling of  dread,  fear,  and  lack when you’re thinking about money.

So. That’s a problem. It’s especially a problem in my romantic life.  I  have had too many ill feelings regarding middle-aged  dogs  who  wanted  to  tell  me  to  lose/gain weight, wear different  clothes, hide my religion,  change my music,  and look the  other way  when  they  ogled  a skimpily dressed teenager…male or female. Uh, no.

So how am I to attract a warm, loving, exciting, sexy, exhilarating   romantic  relationship  into  my  life  if  the thought of dating conjures up a feeling of preferring to be alone and celibate  to what most men I’ve  encountered have had to offer? How do I capture the feeling of wanting to be with someone at all?

I started with a little experiment and surprised myself.

I decided to go back to the last time I was with a man I really enjoyed being with and the way I felt with him. I’d planned  to  use  responses  to  several  men,  provided  I could think of that many I’ve liked hanging with, but one turned out to be enough for this experiment.  More than enough.

I ignored everyone else’s opinions of him and focused only on how I  felt when he and I were communicating directly or when we were  together or when I observed him    in                   action.           I    wanted   to    go    back     to    when     I felt…innocent  and giddy  and  everything  seemed  full of promise. I began by picking out pieces of  conversation we’d had—not what someone else had told me about him or  their  dealings  with  him  or  their  opinion  or  what  I needed instead, but  direct,  one-on-one  interaction  with one man I felt good around, most of  the time. Back to what  was  private  and  sacred  in our  conversations  and how that felt.

I’d thought, oh, half a page would do it, but once I started,  I  couldn’t  stop. Within an hour,  I had at least four pages of snippets of  conversation, thoughts on his smile,  a  look  that  passed  between  us,  the  way  he  explained something, just all sorts of little things I observed that made me feel wonderful around him and how much I liked that feeling.  It’s the kind of feeling I want to attract back into my life, that feeling of falling in love.

There were three things I noticed during this experiment:

1. How quickly I filled the pages once I started remembering the feeling. I had to stop myself because the great memories just kept coming.

2. How all these feelings came from direct interactions with  him—there  were  no  comments  about  him  from friends or family that made me feel this good and in fact, I felt rather depressed,  sad, and  angry  when I thought about some of the advice I’d been given about him.

3. How  absolutely  wonderful  I felt  as  I was  going through this exercise.

The last one surprised me most. Remembering  those feelings put  me right back into the moment  and I felt good all over again.

That’s the feeling I need to back up the thinking. If I want  warm,  loving,  exciting,  sexy, exhilarating,  and romantic in my life, then I need to tap into those feelings and let them  flow  happily,  no  constraints, no tamping them down, just feeling and enjoying.

The next step? Combine those feelings with my vision of the future and being open to someone  warm, loving, exciting, sexy, exhilarating, and romantic coming into my life. At the moment, all I have to do for pleasant dreams is read my list and I’m full-up with smiles and affection.