The Least Sexiest Super Power
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree of Contrast.
I hope this doesnâ€™t mean that the Sylar villain from â€œHeroesâ€ is coming to steal my brain but…
I have this really weird super-power Â of remembering dates, names, Â certain numbers, and all sorts of obscure and mostly useless information, but itâ€™s a skill that helped
me get straight-Aâ€™s throughout my life. My retention skills for dates is what prompts my daughters to refer to me as â€œCalendar Girl.â€
Oh, as with all super-powers, I canâ€™t control it, necessarily. Iâ€™ll be Â in mid-conversation Â and suddenly tell you the exact date of a particular Â discussion Â five years ago, who else was present,Â and sometimes what people wore or said. Minute details that tend to upset the other person sometimes. Â Lots of people think itâ€™s a blessing but itâ€™s a curse when Â youâ€™d rather forget something and you cannot.
Itâ€™s amusing, Â too, Â when Â people Â think Â you Â wouldnâ€™t possibly remember a name or address. I usually at least see all the customer names Â and/or packaging Â labels for orders that go out for Spilled Candy Â Books, Â and if a customer asks a month later if we received an order that they sent in, I can immediately answer, â€œNo. That name hasnâ€™t come Â through.â€ Â Ten Â times Â out of ten, Â I recognize the name or recognize Â that Â itâ€™s not a customerâ€™s Â name Iâ€™ve seen. But of course, someone has to go back and doublecheck orders just in case. Who would believe that I could answer that quickly?
But thatâ€™s a skill that can go back for years. Today, anÂ order came through and I choked when I saw the name on the package label. The guy, supposedly Â a community leader, stiffed us on an order five years ago. I still remember the amount. It stung. I eventually had to write him off as a loss. He probably either doesnâ€™t remember Â that unpaid transaction Â or thinks we donâ€™t. But a single glance over his name and I was riveted. Yeah, I remember. Does he, you think?
Itâ€™s odd Â to Â me Â how Â many Â people Â donâ€™t Â remember their childhoods or have huge gaps. I donâ€™t have gaps. I remember Â everything. Â Vivid details back to when I was no older than three. Whole Â conversations Â before I even knew my ABCâ€™s. Â Even when I didnâ€™t understand what was being said Â or why. If people knew how often I hid under Â dining room Â tables Â because Â I was Â afraid Â of this relative or that one (for good reason!), theyâ€™d be shaking in their brogans. No one ever thinks to check under the table before having a private conversation, do they?
So Iâ€™m a freak. Yeah. Most of the time, I hide that little trick Â because it weirds people out too much. I often joke that I â€œdonâ€™t do Â mathâ€ on evenings and weekends because I donâ€™t want to have to call it up. If I try to concentrate and call up a date, itâ€™s just not fun. No scrinching up my eyes and furrowing my brow to recall something with a fierce nod or my eyes glazing over. No, I usually donâ€™t worry about it and just let the weird sense of recall happen as it wishes, let it happen when it does, and never take it too seriously.
Having a thing for dates and numbers is not a superpower I would choose. If I were choosing, Iâ€™d pick something far sexier. Like whispering persuasive messages. Or hearing an occasional thought. Or having people visit me in my dreams. Or…oh.