I Really Want Him to Feel Good So I Can Feel It, Too

Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree Below.

Regarding my empathic gifts, I’ve noticed that it’s the intense sadness that I feel most easily. That and anxiety, and yearning. No, maybe it’s yearning that’s strongest.

Attract Him Back

I don’t feel the happiness as much or the lighter emotions. Maybe it’s because they aren’t there, but there’s a sense of more light, so the only way I can judge is by the lack of sadness. I feel the emotions more as an absence of “noise”  or  maybe  an  absence  of  stimulation.  There’s more of a feeling of serenity, almost like how you don’t hear the quiet unless you realize that there are no sounds. Then you hear it quite well.

Though  I  sometimes  pick  these  up  between  other people and directly from someone else, I most often feel them when the emotions are directed at me or somehow related to me rather than when I go looking for them. For example, in a  tense meeting this week, I felt a little like Deanna Troi, the empath from Star Trek: The Next Generation who used to advise Captain Picard about the feelings of  various  entities  they  met  in  space,  not  necessarily knowing what a bad alien was hiding but sensing that he was indeed  hiding something. I attended as an observer and, despite their numerous jokes, I felt the tenseness, the coyness,  the  shields,  but  only  because  I  was  actively “tapping in” to their emotions.

On the other hand, all I have to do is meet the glare of someone who wanted my spot in line or open a nasty- gram email or read an interesting  comment from a journal reader and I immediately  feel their energies reaching out to me. Sometimes it’s a barrage of anger hitting me full-force. Sometimes  it’s nervousness or excitement.  If it’s toxic, I feel it strongly. If there are butterflies, I some- times feel those as my own and have difficulty separating them.

I’m less inclined to feel happy thoughts (theirs) when I meet someone, though I can certainly feel my daughters’ love,  even  before  they’re  through  the  front  door. Hmmm, maybe there aren’t that  many people happy to see me, though!

Am I really that attuned to the heavier emotions?  So much so that I have a hard time picking up the happy signals sent my way?

Over the  past  few  weeks,  I’ve  felt  mostly  serenity, hope, a sense of calming, even a little excitement aimed at me from a, er, particular direction. It’s been barely a ping against my shields. I just don’t feel it strongly and I want to. I mean,  I really  want to feel  those  lighter  emotions from…elsewhere.

Then out of the blue, I got a draft of yearning. Not mine. Someone else’s. I can tell the difference  now, and I’ve had the tranquility of the Law of Attraction working in my favor this week, so I’ve been relatively happy. This was familiar and surprising. It was almost an oh-there-it-is kind of moment. It was the  sadness blended with hope blended with yearning that someone sends me occasion- ally—I suspect  without  knowing.  I knew  how that felt and it was so easy to detect.

I would love to know how it would feel if he actively tried to send affection in my direction and if I could discern it around me. That’s an experiment I would love to try someday.

When Prayers and  “Sending Energy” Might Not Be  the  Best  Thing

“I’m  sorry  to  hear  about  your  wife’s  cancer,”  his Christian friend says. “I’ll pray for her.”

The man cringes, but then bursts into tears when a

Wiccan friend adds, “And I’ll send lots of energy.”

“That’s not what she needs,”  he tells me later. He’s exasperated.  “I’m  spending  all  my energy  shielding  her from people with good intentions.”

As he explains it to me, all I can think of is how the

Law of Attraction works.

Christians often offer to pray for the sick. I’ve heard some preachers pray, “God, we thank You for this good woman’s  healing  and  just  give  You  the  glory….”  I’ve heard more of them pray, “God, just  be  with this good woman and her family in her trials as she prepares  for God to take her into His bosom and lessen her suffering and pain from this terrible cancer,” all the while painting the expectation that the next time he prays over her will be at her funeral.

Pagans, on the other hand, have been well-trained  in the ethics of magick and prayer. They know how effective magick and prayer can be and that you should never work magick for someone without their permission.  I see that all the time—Wiccans and other pagans who ask for per- mission to do a healing spell. They want to be ethical and not change the course of someone  else’s life with their intent and belief. So pagans have come up with an alter- native that’s generally acceptable: “I’ll send you some energy.” It’s meant as well and as positively as the Christian “I’ll pray for you” (whether you want it or not).

And I know  the sentiment…because  I myself have

offered many, many times to send “energy.” Sometimes strength, sometimes  peace, sometimes healing, but often the generic “energy.”

I’m thinking better of it now, or at least of the how I “send energy.”

The man whose wife has been diagnosed with cancer is a well-known High Priest in the pagan community, and his wife is a much-loved  High Priestess. Both have been long-time teachers,  highly  regarded.  When anyone  who has ever met them or worked with them hears of her illness, they most likely respond with the promise to “send energy.”  Meanwhile,   her  circle  has  pulled  in  tightly around her to help her overcome her illness without the bombardment of the energy…the  wrong kind of energy. According to this man, you should never “send energy” to someone  with  cancer  because  the  energy  will  make  it grow.

That sounds odd until you think of it in terms of the Law of Attraction.

I was taught that energy itself is pure. It’s only the in- tent that’s good or bad, or in how you use it. I’m having to fine-tune my thinking.

This  man’s  biggest  complaint  is  the  double-edged sword of the  Internet and email.   He’d told a few close friends  about  his  wife’s  cancer  and  the  story  spread quickly online. It was posted to various blogs,   community mailing lists, and websites with offers to send energy because she “has cancer and is dying.” Most of those who read the news immediately focused on the illness (cancer) and the outcome (death). That focus was attached to the energy they sent. The same with most of the  Christians who prayed for her. They prayed for her with a focus on the cancer rather than on the healing. It’s a fine line, yes, but with a nod to  the Law of Attraction,  an important one.

So what can you do the next time someone wants to

pray for you or send you “energy”?

Say, “Thank  you, and when you do, would  you do something  for  me? Would you just imagine me smiling because I’m happy and healthy?”