I Really Want Him to Feel Good So I Can Feel It, Too
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree Below.
Regarding my empathic gifts, I’ve noticed that it’s the intense sadness that I feel most easily. That and anxiety, and yearning. No, maybe it’s yearning that’s strongest.
I don’t feel the happiness as much or the lighter emotions. Maybe it’s because they aren’t there, but there’s a sense of more light, so the only way I can judge is by the lack of sadness. I feel the emotions more as an absence of “noise” or maybe an absence of stimulation. There’s more of a feeling of serenity, almost like how you don’t hear the quiet unless you realize that there are no sounds. Then you hear it quite well.
Though I sometimes pick these up between other people and directly from someone else, I most often feel them when the emotions are directed at me or somehow related to me rather than when I go looking for them. For example, in a tense meeting this week, I felt a little like Deanna Troi, the empath from Star Trek: The Next Generation who used to advise Captain Picard about the feelings of various entities they met in space, not necessarily knowing what a bad alien was hiding but sensing that he was indeed hiding something. I attended as an observer and, despite their numerous jokes, I felt the tenseness, the coyness, the shields, but only because I was actively “tapping in” to their emotions.
On the other hand, all I have to do is meet the glare of someone who wanted my spot in line or open a nasty- gram email or read an interesting comment from a journal reader and I immediately feel their energies reaching out to me. Sometimes it’s a barrage of anger hitting me full-force. Sometimes it’s nervousness or excitement. If it’s toxic, I feel it strongly. If there are butterflies, I some- times feel those as my own and have difficulty separating them.
I’m less inclined to feel happy thoughts (theirs) when I meet someone, though I can certainly feel my daughters’ love, even before they’re through the front door. Hmmm, maybe there aren’t that many people happy to see me, though!
Am I really that attuned to the heavier emotions? So much so that I have a hard time picking up the happy signals sent my way?
Over the past few weeks, I’ve felt mostly serenity, hope, a sense of calming, even a little excitement aimed at me from a, er, particular direction. It’s been barely a ping against my shields. I just don’t feel it strongly and I want to. I mean, I really want to feel those lighter emotions from…elsewhere.
Then out of the blue, I got a draft of yearning. Not mine. Someone else’s. I can tell the difference now, and I’ve had the tranquility of the Law of Attraction working in my favor this week, so I’ve been relatively happy. This was familiar and surprising. It was almost an oh-there-it-is kind of moment. It was the sadness blended with hope blended with yearning that someone sends me occasion- ally—I suspect without knowing. I knew how that felt and it was so easy to detect.
I would love to know how it would feel if he actively tried to send affection in my direction and if I could discern it around me. That’s an experiment I would love to try someday.
When Prayers and “Sending Energy” Might Not Be the Best Thing
“I’m sorry to hear about your wife’s cancer,” his Christian friend says. “I’ll pray for her.”
The man cringes, but then bursts into tears when a
Wiccan friend adds, “And I’ll send lots of energy.”
“That’s not what she needs,” he tells me later. He’s exasperated. “I’m spending all my energy shielding her from people with good intentions.”
As he explains it to me, all I can think of is how the
Law of Attraction works.
Christians often offer to pray for the sick. I’ve heard some preachers pray, “God, we thank You for this good woman’s healing and just give You the glory….” I’ve heard more of them pray, “God, just be with this good woman and her family in her trials as she prepares for God to take her into His bosom and lessen her suffering and pain from this terrible cancer,” all the while painting the expectation that the next time he prays over her will be at her funeral.
Pagans, on the other hand, have been well-trained in the ethics of magick and prayer. They know how effective magick and prayer can be and that you should never work magick for someone without their permission. I see that all the time—Wiccans and other pagans who ask for per- mission to do a healing spell. They want to be ethical and not change the course of someone else’s life with their intent and belief. So pagans have come up with an alter- native that’s generally acceptable: “I’ll send you some energy.” It’s meant as well and as positively as the Christian “I’ll pray for you” (whether you want it or not).
And I know the sentiment…because I myself have
offered many, many times to send “energy.” Sometimes strength, sometimes peace, sometimes healing, but often the generic “energy.”
I’m thinking better of it now, or at least of the how I “send energy.”
The man whose wife has been diagnosed with cancer is a well-known High Priest in the pagan community, and his wife is a much-loved High Priestess. Both have been long-time teachers, highly regarded. When anyone who has ever met them or worked with them hears of her illness, they most likely respond with the promise to “send energy.” Meanwhile, her circle has pulled in tightly around her to help her overcome her illness without the bombardment of the energy…the wrong kind of energy. According to this man, you should never “send energy” to someone with cancer because the energy will make it grow.
That sounds odd until you think of it in terms of the Law of Attraction.
I was taught that energy itself is pure. It’s only the in- tent that’s good or bad, or in how you use it. I’m having to fine-tune my thinking.
This man’s biggest complaint is the double-edged sword of the Internet and email. He’d told a few close friends about his wife’s cancer and the story spread quickly online. It was posted to various blogs, community mailing lists, and websites with offers to send energy because she “has cancer and is dying.” Most of those who read the news immediately focused on the illness (cancer) and the outcome (death). That focus was attached to the energy they sent. The same with most of the Christians who prayed for her. They prayed for her with a focus on the cancer rather than on the healing. It’s a fine line, yes, but with a nod to the Law of Attraction, an important one.
So what can you do the next time someone wants to
pray for you or send you “energy”?
Say, “Thank you, and when you do, would you do something for me? Would you just imagine me smiling because I’m happy and healthy?”