The Question That Nags
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree Ebb and Flow.
I am observing someone, and apparently Iâ€™m as flummoxed as the person Iâ€™m observing.
The person Â Iâ€™m observing Â seems outgoing, Â friendly, carefree. Â He Â is Â always Â surrounded Â by Â friends Â and Â colleagues, never a dull moment in his social circle, though he might not think so. Itâ€™s not who he is on the Â inside, though. Â Inside, Â thereâ€™s Â intense Â passion Â but Â itâ€™s Â tightly bound by his shyness in personal situations. In matters of the heart, he is terrified to make a move…or a mistake.
Iâ€™d love to give him a hugâ€”the kind I might give a shy little Â boyâ€”and tousle his hair and tell him heâ€™ll be fine, Â just Â fine, Â but Â he Â has Â his Â pride Â and Â I Â would Â not wound him. So I watch, I observe, without ever yelling at him to buck up or chiding him for his feelings. I understand better than he might think.
I observe the shyness, find it endearing even. Thereâ€™s a charm to it…or would be if he would get close enough for me to see it better. Â Thatâ€™s the paradox of it: such a sweet Â and heart-warming Â shyness Â that Â colors his affections and yet it paralyzes him when so much warmth is waiting for him in the world.
So the question nags at me. How does one become more aggressive Â in his own behalf? Particularly Â when he would not be left wanting?