Kinky Sex, Bisexuality, and the Scorpio Generation

Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree Ebb and Flow.

I was born to the generation when Pluto was in Virgo, from 1957 to 1971, also considered to be Generation X, a time  of  transformation.  My  daughters  are  Millennials, born in the early ‘90s, which puts them and everyone else in the middle school to college age groups in the generation of Pluto in Scorpio, now coming of age in ways that annoy  and terrify  the Baby  Boomers  born when Pluto was in Leo, which is at a square, a difficult angle, to this new generation.

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Whereas my generation  has been more about trans- forming the  world,  connecting  with  nature  and health, and the environment,  my  daughters’  Scorpio generation has its own agenda, even if they don’t  know it. They’re extremely connected  to each other and the rest of the world—plugged  in all the time—highly in favor of technology and sharing with each other in a way second only to Star Trek’s The Borg. The previous generations  seem to have “done it all already,” so that there’s no new territory to explore (they don’t realize yet that they are the new territory!).  Unlike  their  predecessors,  they’ve  reduced their  drug  use…unless   you  count  all  the  anti-anxiety drugs  that  teens  are  on,  which  seem  to  be  up  for… everybody.

There’s  also  what  older  generations,  especially  the Baby Boomers and the generation prior to them, consider to be  deeply  disturbing—the  appeal  of  darker  sex.  Of course, to the Scorpio generation, what’s so dark? To the elder  generations,  it’s  considered  twisted  because  it  is deeply sexual, intense, all-consuming.  My generation and the ones before me think it’s “safe” to keep the sexes separated at sleepovers, yet most of the Scorpio generation  I’ve  met  have  been  either  bisexual  or  bi-curious. Teens now readily have  boyfriends  and girlfriends, often at the same times. Kinky sex is, well, I’m  not sure any- thing is kinky anymore.

The only Scorpio I have in my astrology chart is Neptune in Scorpio, which is now being felt by people in their early 40’s down to about 36. It’s the age group that re-birthed itself through drugs and/or mysticism and connected it with sex and transformation.  Maybe that’s part of why my feelings about sex now are more related to bringing back the sacred/mystical/hazy/romanticism of it. I do know that it’s something  my age group is struggling with because we’re from that phase that believes in romantic love and soul mates and we’re being challenged by the current phase of freedom and independence in relationships and very few one-on-one partnerships.

When I was in college, I had many, many male friends who were  openly gay and several platonic male friends who were bisexual. I was heavily involved in music, and that’s  where most  of these  friends  tended  to cluster.  I could also trust my gay friends when there weren’t many straight guys I could trust, and I was leery of my bisexual friends  becoming  non-platonic  because  I’d  told  them things I would never tell a romantic interest and I didn’t want to cross that line of trust. It was easier 20 years ago to compartmentalize,  and my gay friends and I knew that if we cried on each other’s shoulder about a love interest, the tears of pain or neediness wouldn’t end up washing us away to the bedroom. The sexual lines weren’t so blurry and it was safe.

And I can probably point to the age of 19 and pin- point the  need  to feel  “safe”  on the  numerous  hetero guys who were players and the  one bisexual guy who’d told me he was gay (and did have a boyfriend  who was also a friend of mine), and then after months of a solid friendship with me, he confessed that he liked girls, too, and propositioned me, using all the things I’d confided to try to coerce me. I’d felt betrayed.

Now, some 20 years later, I’ve known betrayal more serious ways. When we were all in our college years, I relished my openly gay friends. It was incredibly difficult for them, but I appreciated  how they were taking on society so they could be who they were. What I didn’t relish was, over the past few years, learning how many people in my life claimed to be heterosexual,  only for  me to find out they were bisexual and had been using our relationship for their own purposes. There have been several deep betrayals that go beyond being disingenuous and straight to lying, manipulation, and abuse. But such is my generation and its need to have everything look “perfect,” at least on the outside,  unlike the upcoming  generation  in Scorpio which is facing its own intense need to be reborn through feeling things deeply.

As for me, I’ve never had any physical inclination toward women. I almost feel the need, amid this newest generation, to  apologize for that fact! But for as much romanticism I love and as  much  creativity,  innovation, and freedom I’m equally fond of, I think for me it’s going to be very important that my partner be solely heterosexual. And while I’m speaking of dreamy ideals, I’ll throw in “faithful” as well.