Wicker Man Remake: Good, Bad, and Ugly
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree of Truth.
I loved the original Wicker Man with Edward Wood- ward. Given that itâ€™s a pagan horror classic thatâ€™s low on gore and high on mystery and inspiration, Â I was anxious to see the remake when I first heard about it a few years back. I mean, with paganism out of the closet in 2006 (vs 1973), just imagine what they could do with this film!
– The scenery! Best thing about it! I like the scenery at least as much as I liked the mountains in Brokeback Mountain. Man, I just want a little rose-covered cottage like the docâ€™s!
– The matriarchal Â society Â was kinda fun, too, and I liked much of that whole premise even though it got too hokey for words near the end.
– The rewickering Â of the plot. Sorry. Pun intended. Not sure what this remake intended. Â Though they did a decent Â job Â of Â explaining Â why Â technologyÂ Â wonâ€™t Â save Nicholas Cageâ€™s character Â and how the Â sanctuary Â is set up, it was too different from the original. I could not re- late Nicholas Â Cageâ€™s Â character Â to anything Â at all of the caliber Â of Â Edward Â Woodwardâ€™s Â character Â in Â the Â originalâ€”theÂ Â remadeÂ Â â€œheroâ€™sâ€Â Â motivationsÂ Â justÂ Â wereÂ Â all wonky.
– Cageâ€™s character. Period. Bad, bad, bad. I hated this guy. Okay, not hated. Too strong a word. Not that I canâ€™t hate but I canâ€™t summon that much emotion to hate him. But I strongly disliked him. I got really tired of his yelling at people, breaking and entering, cursing in front of their children, Â punching Â women Â in Â the Â face, Â showing Â disrespect Â to Â anyone Â and Â everyone, Â and Â just Â being Â an Â all- around jerk. I did not find him worthy enough to be the worthy sacrifice we were told at the end that he was. On the other hand, about 1/3 of the way into the movie, I was ready to light a torch myself.
– The Â character Â of Willow. Â I desperately Â wanted Â to slap her (see, Â this Â movie Â brought Â out Â myÂ violent Â side) every time she opened her mouth. Could not get a sentence Â out Â to Â save Â her Â life. Â â€œUm….well….huh?Â Â I Â donâ€™t know…do I?â€
– The ritual. Argh. You call that raising energy? Even some naked dancing would have added…something.
– Yes, the women are dominant and the men are subservient (seems Â to be the theme this week for me!) The only men who get to remain on the island are apparently there for their womenâ€™s pleasure. Hmm, Â okie-doke. But none of these men still have their tongues. Yeah. Right.