Why the Tulip
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree of Truth.
I’ve been asked why the girl in the previous post has a tulip. This has been described to me in detail by my ex- mom-in-law, but I’ll be brief. It’s not so strange that this child would show up in this meditation, yet she was as much as surprise as the woman of vines and tentacles, basically because they’re the same person.
When my ex-mom-in-law was 5 years old, she was very sick and died. Her twin brother came to her bedside with a tulip to show her and he called to her but she was already gone. Because he called to her, she came back, following his voice. She eventually recovered, lying in her bed and gazing at the tulip in the window.
There is a special innocence to this story, beautiful between her and her brother. It’s something she tried to talk the rest of the family about but they refused to talk about it. I was the only one in her family or circle of friends that she could talk to about her near death experience.
This sweet little girl grew up into an extremely con- trolling woman, sister, wife, and mother—she has 5 kids and they are all as emotionally isolated as my ex. Because of antics toward my daughters this past summer, I now understand what life was like for my ex when he was growing up and why he is such an emotional distancer who will not let anyone in and will not share himself with anyone. She is inordinately attached to her brother and does everything she can to control his life—and is very upset to keep running up against her sis-in-law who is extremely dominant and won’t put up with this woman’s antics, when she knows about them.
She’s put some bad stuff out there over the years and her karma is returning in this lifetime. Right now, she’s intent on separating me from my daughters to punish me for leaving the family. I’m not going to let that happen. She has refused to let go of me over the past 2 years. Even recently in meditations, she just keeps grabbing hold. I’ve tried to break the ties in a peaceful way. Her health is fair to good and she’s determined to fix things for her son before she dies, so she’s intensified her efforts.
Somewhere underneath all this anger and fear of hers is still that little girl with the tulip. I think maybe the monster has to “die” before the innocence can re-emerge.