Third Date, Last Date
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree of Truth.
My kingdom for Â one good man! And apparently, itâ€™s not this oneâ€¦.
The guy seems to have a lot of promise. Very intelligent, divorced for a couple of years, a guy I know from work Â thoughÂ Â heâ€™s Â more Â often Â in Â Panama Â City Â than here. ScientificÂ Â Â Â Â Â Â mind,Â lovesÂ Â toÂ Â Â Â Â Â Â talk Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â philosophically. Professional job, easy smile, lovely eyes, a Â juvenile but somewhat wicked sense of humor. Seems to under- stand my spirituality and is willing to talk about it. Yes, a strong possibility here.
Yet Iâ€™m ambivalent. Â My divorced friends tell me that â€œ3â€ is the magic number when it comes to bedding a man these days. By then, Â theyâ€™ve Â established that heâ€™s willing to spend some money on them and Â theyâ€™re not a one- night stand and thereâ€™ll be absolutely Â no misunderstand- ingÂ Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â that Â Â Â Â theyâ€™re Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â sluts Â Â Â if Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â they Â Â Â waitÂ Â Â until Â Â Â the Â Â Â Â Â third date. Okay, whatever.
Even on the third date, Iâ€™m ambivalent about whether a goodnight Â kiss is in the making. A peck on the cheek was as far as DateÂ #2 went Â and that was a couple Â of months before he asked me out on Date #3.Â Â Â Â Â But this is actually drinks and dinner, so I guess the hierarchy Â is in working order.
So we sit over drinks in a little bar and chat. He tells me how good it is to see me again and how much he likes this place. Iâ€™m still ambivalent but open to the possibilities of seeing this man on a regular basis. There are other men Iâ€™d rather be with, but sometimes I Â really do want someone to share things withâ€¦and we seem to be hitting it off quite nicely.
By his second drinkâ€”Iâ€™m about 1/3 through mineâ€” heâ€™s heavily into the subject of how much he enjoys his freedom since his divorce. I agree. I mention how I like not being accountable to anyone but myself but he inter- rupts to tell me that yeah, his sex life is better than it ever was Â before. In fact, since he and I last had drinks, heâ€™s been Â withÂ Â nineÂ Â differentÂ Â women,Â Â someÂ Â moreÂ Â than once. In the Biblical sense.
And as if thatâ€™s not just the kiss of death for meâ€”I like Â that Â illusion Â of Â believing Â Iâ€™m Â the Â only Â one, Â sorry, howeverÂ unrealistic Â thatÂ may Â be, Â and Â I Â certainly Â donâ€™t want to hear about other womenâ€™s Â attributesâ€”yes, Â as if
thatâ€™s not the kiss of death for any possibilityÂ for a relationship, he Â goes on to list all nine women and what he likes about each oneâ€¦sexually.
The first was so anorexic that the slightest stimulation shot her into Â theÂ orgasmic Â atmosphere. Â The Â third one pissed him off because after heâ€™d pleasured her orally, she excused herself and never returned (wise girl!). The ninth, well, she spoke only Spanish and he speaks only English but the language barrier didnâ€™t slow them down as he de- scribed in explicit detail.
I donâ€™t get the impression that heâ€™s bragging. Maybe he thinks that Â giving me his most recent sexual resume will be worthwhile for later? I donâ€™t know. Why do men do that? Tell you about the woman they kept up all last night Â or Â how Â well Â they Â please Â other Â women? Â Â Â Â Nine women in such a short time, most of them one-nighters whose names Â he Â didnâ€™t know and canâ€™t remember, Â just doesnâ€™t do anything to make me see him as more appealing. Just the opposite.
All I know is that Iâ€™m not at all interested in hearing about the other women in his â€œnetwork.â€ And that, after 1/3 of my drink, Iâ€™m no longer interested in him.
My kingdom for a good man! Just one good man. Because this one ainâ€™t it.