The Forest for the Trees
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree of Truth.
I donâ€™t know that anything Â rocks me more than discovering something hidden about someone. Some people will go to any lengths to keep things hidden.
I think Â about Â past Â relationshipsâ€”friends,Â Â romantic, spouse, familyâ€”and things that were hidden, sometimes even from Â themselves. Â The first moment Â of realization was surreal. Once it sank in a few inches, I took a glance at history through those new lenses and suddenly every- thing came into sharp focus. Then I had to re-look at my entire history, in detail, through those lenses and see what was really going on that Iâ€™d missed. In general, those have been…bad.
But Iâ€™m just as shocked to discover something hidden that someoneâ€™s tried to tell me and I didnâ€™t understand at the time.
We base our perceptions Â on whatâ€™s presented Â to us and what weâ€™ve had experience Â with. Then along comes something unexpected. Something so unexpected and out of our realm of experience that we Â donâ€™t Â know what to do with it. We look right past the real truthÂ at Â whatâ€™s â€œobvious.â€
Iâ€™ve been feeling a little dumb in the past few weeks about something Â someone Â tried to tell meâ€”gave Â me a bazillion hints atâ€”and I missed it. He was waiting for me to say it was okay, and I didnâ€™t because I didnâ€™t know.
Walking along the lake today, watching several dozen dragonflies mating in the air, I put those lenses back on and Â looked Â at Â old Â scenery, Â replaying Â conversations Â of long ago, re-examining the words spoken based on what I now know.
Damn. Â At Â the Â time, Â I Â judged Â those Â conversations based on every other relationship Iâ€™d ever had. Based on past attachments. Â I didnâ€™t know any other light to judge them by.
This was such a sweet man, and too often I blew him off as ignoring me.
He wasnâ€™t. I just didnâ€™t know what was going on be- hind the â€œobvious.â€ At times, his comments hurt my feelings because I misunderstood, Â because if Iâ€™d heard them from any man in my past, Â they Â would have meant the â€œobvious.â€
Now that I know what was really going onâ€”at least, it seems I doâ€”the â€œobviousâ€ Â takes on an entirely new meaning.
A rather intriguing facet that sparkles in my memory.