Building, Building, Building
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree Tilt.
I’ve been back from Daytona for almost 2 weeks now, and I’m beginning to feel that surge of “good energy” fade. The teal of the ocean was definitely good for me.
But back home for 2 weeks and settling back into the daily routine here, I’m finding that I’m really having to fight the heaviness all around. There’s a sense of inertia, of having been dropped in molasses and frozen as I try to push forward, push through. The excitement of all the things to do and all the things to be done when I got back has started to fade, but I won’t let it.
I don’t like this encroaching heaviness. I’m doing my best to shake it off. It’s like a dark fog that tries to creep back in and surround me, but such is the energy I feel here these days.
The good thing is, I seem to be getting help from the Ether. My guides are drawing me to be more focused on projects and possibilities. On building, building, building…creating something new so that once I extract myself from this muck, the path ahead will be clear. Unknown perhaps, but clear.
For some reason, I find myself repeatedly drawn to the Central Florida area. I have been since last fall, but I don’t know why. There’s nothing there for me. No one there for me. I have friends all over Florida, some in the Central coastline areas, but none in that particularly area.
Could it be an impending empty nest syndrome? Aislinn hasn’t given much thought to college yet, but my elder child has. Since last fall, Shannon’s started talking about going to college in either Gainesville or Orlando, and I admit, the energy from the Gainesville/ Ocala area has been enticing on the 3 occasions in the past year that I’ve driven through there. And now I have an invitation to attend and speak at the Florida Pagan Gathering in the Ocala National Forest, with the likes of my online pagan buddies—M.R. Sellars, Kristin Madden, Dorothy Morrison—all of whom I’m very excited about spending time with and meeting them in person for the first time.
I don’t have an exact spot in Central Florida that draws me. I know it’s away from the coastline and away from hurricanes, at least directly. It’s safer than here, and though I don’t have an urgent push to get the hell of out Dodge…er, Niceville…this summer, there is a strong urge to get further inland to where my family will be safer from whatever’s coming in the next couple of hurricane seasons. Katrina was not the last of her kind.
But as for elsewhere in Florida, Central Florida in particular, there’s not a specific spot that calls to me. At least, not yet. And I’m not quite sure what this is all about.
The log-jams on home projects are breaking through, too, though I’ll likely be working away at them for the rest of the summer, both on the inside and the outside of the house. And there’s still plenty of work for my little chainsaw to do!
There’s just an odd sensation of being so incredibly busy and getting things done and getting projects and in- formation out there. It seems that that would be the culmination, but it isn’t.
This—my guides tell me—this is not the culmination at all. This, they tell me, this stage I’m going through… right now…and for at least the rest of June…is all about preparation..