Only a Witch
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Crimes to the Third Degree.
Only a witch would understand.
Your young daughter has often seen you meditate with a gemstone on your 6th chakra because different gemstones give different focuses to meditative practices, hence when you lie down for a nap, she now offers, “Mommy, would you like for me to put some rocks on your head?
You really hate doing early morning magick because your hair smells like sulfur for the rest of the day. (You think that’s bad? I misspelled sulfur and typed surfer.)
House guests frown at the big jar of pepper…red, white, and black…and ask about the little bottle of black salt next to the big bottle of sea salt.
Your older daughter notes that the marketing of candles as “slow-burning” is not something that impresses you because you hate for a spell candle to take forever to burn.
If the lights go out, no one ever worries about a lack of candles.
You see a rusty nail and think, Oh, good!
If a friend calls, complaining that the boss is a nut case and needs to leave, you offer to pee in a bottle for her.
You explain to a friend who wants her husband to leave that the bottle shouldn’t go under his bed but under his TV chair.