Life Is Full of Surprises
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Crimes to the Third Degree.
Every couple of weeks, someone asks me if I’m terribly jealous of my ex’s new girlfriend. I’m not and I never have been, even though I fully expected to be because I’d received enough warnings from well-meaning acquaintances and counselors. But no, not even a twinge of envy that she has him and I don’t. In fact, I actually like her. A lot.
(And no, it has nothing to do with the fact that my ex-mom-in-law continually disrespects her by calling her a “dingbat” in front of my kids.)
How can I like someone I’ve never even met? Two reasons: she’s good to my kids and they like her. And that’s more than enough for me.
I can’t say I was thrilled when she moved in with my ex, but not for the reasons most people would think. In fact, I was really, seriously pissed. Why? Because the girls came home with tales of a new woman Daddy had just met and it was very obvious that she’d moved in with him, based on the girls’ details of personal items and happenings in the house.
But instead of my ex leveling with our girls and telling them he’d met someone and invited her to share his new home, he declined to admit it or even talk about it to our very bright children who came home to meconfused, asking me questions, leaving it to me to explain the situation so he wouldn’t have to. I got to do the dirty work, once again, of explaining things that were uncomfortable to discuss with young teen daughters.
Just for the record, if I ever move a man into my home, my girls will most definitely know about it, and they’ll celebrate it, too.
So, while it does surprise me, I’m happy that my daughters get along so well with their dad’s girlfriend. I’m secure enough in my relationship with them that I’m not worried that she or anyone else could ever replace me. And in case I’m ever not physically there for them for any reason, I’m glad there’s another woman in their lives with whom they can have heart-to-heart talks and tell their secrets to.