Life Is Full of Surprises
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Crimes to the Third Degree.
Every couple of weeks, someone asks me if Iâ€™m terribly jealous of my exâ€™s new girlfriend. Iâ€™m not and I never have been, even though I fully expected to be because Iâ€™d received enough warnings from well-meaning acquaintances and counselors. But no, not even a twinge of envy that she has him and I donâ€™t. In fact, I actually like her. A lot.
How can I like someone Iâ€™ve never even met? Two reasons: sheâ€™s good to my kids and they like her. And thatâ€™s more than enough for me.
I canâ€™t say I was thrilled when she moved in with my ex, but not for the reasons most people would think. In fact, I was really, seriously pissed. Why? Because the girls came home with tales of a new woman Daddy had just met and it was very obvious that sheâ€™d moved in with him, based on the girlsâ€™ details of personal items and happenings in the house.
But instead of my ex leveling with our girls and telling them heâ€™d met someone and invited her to share his new home, he declined to admit it or even talk about it to our very bright children who came home to me confused, asking me questions, leaving it to me to explain the situation so he wouldnâ€™t have to. I got to do the dirty work, once again, of explaining things that were uncomfortable to discuss with young teen daughters.
Just for the record, if I ever move a man into my home, my girls will most definitely know about it, and theyâ€™ll celebrate it, too.
So, while it does surprise me, Iâ€™m happy that my daughters get along so well with their dadâ€™s girlfriend. Iâ€™m secure enough in my relationship with them that Iâ€™m not worried that she or anyone else could ever replace me. And in case Iâ€™m ever not physically there for them for any reason, Iâ€™m glad thereâ€™s another woman in their lives with whom they can have heart-to-heart talks and tell their secrets to.