My Own Personal Soundtrack
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree of Separation.
Being quite the lover of music, I sometimes find I have my own personal soundtrack running in my head. Sometimes, I donâ€™t realize itâ€™s even playing until I stop and think about itâ€” and then itâ€™s very telling. Iâ€™m convinced now that my angels and spirit guides talk to me through music…or maybe itâ€™s just my subconscious warning me!
Just a few days ago, I woke with the phrase, â€œWhy ya wanna give me the round-around?â€ playing in my head. I didnâ€™t even realize it was there until my fourth phone call in an hour to my roofer to get them to fix yet another of their errors and I heard the words pop out of my mouth, â€œWhy do you want to give me the round-around?â€
On my way to a series of all-day meetings, a traffic accident Â made Â me late and all the way to work, I worried about missing the meeting and how embarrassing to walk into this particular meeting late. Then I stopped worrying and had the feeling I wasnâ€™t to be in those meetings because Alanis Morissetteâ€™s â€œUninvited…Youâ€™re uninvitedâ€ was Â playing in my head repeatedly. I arrived two minutes early and out of Â breath from running, only to find out the meetings had been called off and the secretary had failed to notify me.
On another day recently, I heard from an old acquaintance and Â I Â kept wondering if she was back to stay or simply wanted something. Then I stopped to check the â€œsoundtrackâ€ in my head. An old song that I hadnâ€™t heard in years was playing, specifically the phrase, â€œTomorrow, Iâ€™ll be gone…tomorrow, Iâ€™ll be gone.â€ During a conversation with another woman, I swear the Thompson Twins were singing, â€œLies, lies, lies, lies, liesâ€ so loud that I could hardly hear her.
Through much of the past year of questioning my intuition Â concerning romantic liaisons, Iâ€™ve heard, â€œListen to your heartâ€ (the old Roxette version before the newer one hit the radio waves), â€œIt just takes some time,â€ â€œThe waiting is the hardest part,â€ â€œDoncha worry â€˜bout a thang, baby,â€ and â€œIâ€™ll be with you in your weakest moments.â€ When I am indeed listening to my heart, I donâ€™t hear these songs in my personal soundtrack.
Other friends have noted this same kind of soundtrack, too, once theyâ€™ve been alerted to it. Most recently, Shannon told me that for the Â twenty minutes before I told her about a disturbing conversation with a Â clairvoyant friend, she had been hearing â€œThe futureâ€™s not ours to see; whatever will be, will be,â€ a song sheâ€™d heard once in the seventh grade. It Â was the first time I realized my friend hadnâ€™t told me anything from a clairvoyant point of view but rather had simply given serious advice related Â to his own romantic interests. Iâ€™d misunderstood and thought he was telling me something heâ€™d seen psychically.
Think my kids and I are the only ones? I jotted down my thoughts on the personal soundtrack and turned on the radioâ€” only Â to Â hear Â a Â female Â deejay Â asking Â if Â anyone Â else Â has Â an â€œinternal jukeboxâ€ thatâ€™s always playing like she does. Ah, syn- chronicity!
Does this mean that every song that pops into my head has a hidden mesage? Letâ€™s hope not. Because I have no explanation at all for Â â€œDoncha, Wish Your Girlfriend Was a Freak Like Me,â€ â€œMy Humps,â€ and â€œShake That Ass for Me.â€