Do I Want to Be a Cyborg?
Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree of Separation.
Two of my favorite shows, when I was a kid, were The Six Million Dollar Man and Â The Bionic Woman. In Â fact, Â Lindsay Wagnerâ€™s Â bionic Â action-adventure Â heroine Â was Â my Â strongest Hollywood role model, which is why meeting her several years ago was such a thrill for me. But would I want to be part ma- chine? Would I trade any of my parts to toss out the natural and replace it with the artificial?
I neverâ€”after my teen years, anywayâ€”thought much about Â breast augmentation until around a year ago when my new group of friends all seemed to be either sporting silicone or weighing the need for silicone vs the need to pay the mortgage. I found it curious but not enough to do anything about it for myself.
And then there was the new acquaintance who had all her back Â teeth removed so she could give a better blowjob. My Gods. Somehow that particular procedure and the reasons for it never in a million years would have crossed my mind.
I donâ€™t like disturbing the natural energy flow of the body, Â whether Â thatâ€™s Â dental Â or Â major Â surgery. Â I Â never Â could bring myself to get my tubes tied, though Iâ€™ve thought about it for many years. I just donâ€™t likeâ€¦messing with â€œstuff.â€ In the same vein, I donâ€™t like popping pills Â either and was surprised when giving my medical history today to realize I havenâ€™t take a prescription pill of any sort in almost a year. Iâ€™ve been handling most everything with exercise, diet, and meditation.
A surprising number of my women friends, especially the newly Â divorced ones who barely top 40, have been reclaiming their bodies with Â face lifts, nips and tucks, and all kinds of â€œwork.â€ Iâ€™d said, back in my 20â€™s, that Iâ€™d never do that, but itâ€™s easy to say that in your 20â€™s. I donâ€™t know. Maybe Iâ€™ll do a bit of it, too, in a few years. I donâ€™t know that Iâ€™d do much prior to being in a committed relationship, though. Iâ€™d want to know the guy is interested in my colors and not just the palette. But Iâ€™ll keep an open mind and if it makes me feel good, Iâ€™ll do it any- way, whether or not Iâ€™m in a relationship.
I donâ€™t consider Lasix surgery on my eyes to be the same as cosmetic surgery, but something really threw me today when I was at a screening to see if Iâ€™m a candidate. I was told I am, and that my Â preference Â for wearing contacts that allow me to see very well within Â closer ranges and glasses over them for driving and staring at the stars is Â unusual. With Lasix, I have three options: 1. I can have distance vision Â and wear reading glasses for everything close up, which puts me in glasses most of the time, 2. Monovisionâ€”one eye geared for distance vision and one for close vision, and 3. Close vision with Lasix and glasses for distance as I do now with my contacts. Then the technician mentioned another possibilityâ€”an artificial lens that would give distance, intermediate, and close-up vision. In other words, the ophthalmologist would remove the natural lens of my eye and give me an artificial one. Iâ€™ll have to do some research on that, butâ€¦oooooh, maybe I can squint and see really, really far like Steve Austin?
I remember as a kid watching those shows and thinking it would be Â cool to have machine-enhanced body parts. Now, I find it sort of spooky. Maybe because itâ€™s so much closer to being real. Maybe because I like natural. But Iâ€™ll have to think about it, research it, come to terms with it and decide if I can do that or if I want something a little closer to natural. Opportuni- ties for the new and different show up every day at an amazing speed.
The technician gave me tons of literature to read over and urged me to read up on the artificial lens before making a decision. Then she finished filling out a chart on me.
â€œDo you Â plan Â on Â becoming Â pregnant Â in Â the Â next Â six months?â€ she asked.
When I stopped laughing, I said, â€œI donâ€™t plan on any- thing anymore.â€