Look Deeply Into My Eyes

Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Third Degree Burn.

“I’m absolutely serious,” I tell Jean. She knows I am, too. I’ve thrown out a wild and crazy idea, way outside the box, but it’s a fascinating premise that blends hypnotherapy, shaman- ism, and quantum physics.

Flying by Night

The question?

“Can you work with the Higher Self in a coma patient to bring him out of it?”

The answer?

I have no idea, but it makes for great conversation. Several of us have been collecting data on the subconscious mind and how it works for a project on science and metaphysics, and I’m seriously considering formal training in hypnotheraphy. I got the bug several years ago when my former mother-in-law and sister-in-law invited me with them to visit a pair of  hypnotists for weight control, smoking cessation, and stress reduction  (guess which was mine!). I picked up some wonderful tips from the pair as well as from a police detective in the Black Forest Clan who uses hypnosis to investigate witness recall and in lieu of anesthesia for surgery patients.

I’m intrigued by the way the human mind works, the subconscious, the Higher Self. We truly do have a connection to a collective unconsciousness. I tap into that quiet part of them and here we go….

In a session with a female friend who didn’t think she could be hypnotized, I address her and don’t believe I’m talking to her subconscious…until she starts babbling. Then she won’t shut up.

She talks about a mutual male friend she believes to be well-endowed—with cash—and three times associates him with money. She also offers up that she’s lied to me about this “cool dude” and tells me about a conversation I remember well, one that was so brutal and disgusting to me that I actually cried all the way home on a moonlit and  deer-lined country highway. She’d made allegations that night about this certain man’s ram- pant promiscuity and backed it up with tiny kernels of truth that no longer had anything to do with his personal life. Manipulator that she was, she’d intentionally played with my trust issues and I’d fallen for it, choosing to let a friendship go rather than ex- plore it further.

She gleefully admits snooping through his most personal cell  phone calls for info she could use to her advantatage and then she tells me her duplicity backfired on her. It wasn’t that she was stupid enough to get caught. She was stupid enough to think her snooping was justified and then level some allegations about me. Unfortunately, she still thinks  snooping was the acceptable thing for her to do.

She offers up something I’ve supposedly said to her about this man and I call her down on it. Her Higher Self admits to  lying,  even  now,  because  she  wants  this  man.  Why?  His money. And she’d leave her  family  in a heartbeat if he’d have her. The funny thing is that she thinks  this man’s income is probably ten times what it really is. The sad thing is that with her emphasis on money, she’s missed the treasure he really is.

I desperately wish I’d known this hidden side of her six months ago. It would have saved me from too many nights of heartache. And even though I knew her propensity for such shenanigans, she still had the power  to jerk my heart all over the place. But none of it can be undone, and I resist the temptation to give her the subliminal suggestion that she bark  like a dog every time she utters the word Bitch about some unsuspecting woman.

We work with another participant in our experiment, and he’s even scarier than the first. He immediately gets bogged down while talking to me. Something’s wrong and I know it. I play a hunch and ask if he’s on drugs. Yes. Tylenol. But Tylenol wouldn’t do this. Not this. His words are lethargic and he’s scaring me. Then he adds, “Lithium.” He’s been diagnosed with a personality disorder—narcissism.  Seriously. He’s hit rock bottom and hopes I’ll find a way to save him but I won’t. I’ve saved him too many times before, times when he didn’t mind pulling me under. He has to save himself, but he doesn’t even know where he is or where his little girl is or where his wife of less than a year went.

He’s focused on me in an unhealthy way I didn’t know about. He scares me. I give him the subliminal suggestion not to pursue me. Before we wrap up the session, he admits lie after lie to me. Almost as if he gets a rush off confessing to me.

Others tell us they’re wandering around outside their bodies, down wormholes, hovering in the air. When they wake, they remember nothing. They go back to the face they present to the world.

My conclusions thus far—the Higher Self will lie, will manipulate,  doesn’t know everything, gets confused, becomes needy, shows jealousy, doesn’t learn from mistakes, and doesn’t always pass on those lessons to the conscious mind.

And if the Higher Self will do those things, imagine what the Lower Self, the ego, will do.

I guess most of all, it surprises me how much our subconscious  minds want some things and our conscious minds never get in gear and make it happen.