Shopping at the Man Store

Copyrighted by Lorna Tedder. Originally published in Life in the Third Degree.

Uh, oh. The secret’s out. Other single women in their 30’s and 40’s now know the top spots to meet men. That’s right: hardware stores.

Working Through Grief

Forget bars and blind dates and Internet dating services. Hardware stores have more in store than nuts and screws. They’re a bargain basement of quality men and, well, fixer-uppers.

There’s something for every girl, no matter what her needs. The beta female can find someone to take care of her with a wispy, helpless, “Excuse me, sir, but can you help me pick the right paint for my bedroom? Is there a difference in latex and satin and flat?”

Then again the alpha female is on home turf. “Excuse me, you need to move to one side so I can get a better look at that chainsaw. My 16-inch just isn’t powerful enough for me.”

Trust me, any man who doesn’t find it incongruous that a woman both paints her toenails and wields a mean chainsaw is worth a second look. Especially if she paints and wields simultaneously.

But I guess other women think the hardware store is a hot spot, too, now. On my last foray into the hardware store—where I spent two hours in the tile and lumber sections and held no less than eight separate conversations initiated by smiling, happy, seemingly intelligent men—I noticed a preponderance of women in full make-up, mini-skirts, and high heels…and near empty carts as they teetered about.

Me? I was in bike shorts and a paint-splattered T-shirt, a ponytail, and a stripe of aqua-green paint across my left cheek. I smelled of potting soil, paint, and motor oil. Yep, I was some man’s dream, all right.