Four Man Plan Dating Guide: Good Advice for Attracting Back
Photo credit by tamaki; creative commons license
The most difficult thing for people looking to “attract back” lost lovers is to stop fixating on them. With Cindy Lu’s “scientific-based” dating guide, a girl doesn’t have time to brood.
For someone trying to reconnect with a romantic interest who’s out of the picture, at least for a while, the real nuggets in Lu’s entertaining book are in the new game it’ll force you to play while you’re also playing the waiting game for the guy you want back in your life. The last thing you need, according to the Law of Attraction, is to spend your days and nights—and weekends—pining away, feeling the gaping the loss in your heart and bed, and focusing on the lack of that guy in your life right now. Much better if you can shift your focus to being your normal fun self with lots of fun stuff to do, right? That’s where the Four Man Plan’s best ideas come into play.
Cindy Lu suggests building a mantis graph. In this case,
, it looks like a block of four squares, each with four squares inside. Her system allows you to weight each relationship with a man according to the number of dates, extent of a sexual relationship, emotional involvement, focus on monogamy, etc. For example, a man who’s available and has your contact info gets one-fourth of one of the large squares so he’s a “quarter man.” These are the guys you date a couple of times and might become something more…involved…or they drop off your mantis graph in favor of a new guy you’ve exchanged phone numbers with. Technically, you could be dating 16 guys at one time but not emotionally invested in any of them. They’re just fun at this point. If things progress with one or two—say they profess their love but you’re not sleeping with them—they may acquire more squares on the graph, becoming a half-man, whole-man, etc.
Since I’m not looking for a husband or the father of my child, I would personally alter the weightings according to my own needs; however, the benefit that the Four Man Plan offers the girl trying to attract back a guy is that she can easily have several other men to socialize with and keep her from focusing too much on the one guy who’s not present. This is a healthier, easier-on-the-emotions way of getting through the days—plus enjoying new friends, new interests, and new adventures that make you a better rounded person—rather than crying into your pillow or brooding…which isn’t going to bring anyone back.