What Does It Take to Trust Someone?
A man in my life made me cry today.Â He doesnâ€™t know he made me cry or why, but it was a turning point for me as far as my level of trust and where Iâ€™m willing to go in our relationship.Â These were not tears of hurt.Â Not tears of joy either.
I was simplyâ€¦moved.Â And yet, thereâ€™s nothing simple about it.
This man has been trying to convince me to trust him on a specific matter, and Â before today, Iâ€™ve several times come close and then backed away. Itâ€™s a big step for me to trust someone in the way heâ€™s asked me to. Â Heâ€™s always been 100% open with me and honest, though I know there are things he doesnâ€™t tell me and I donâ€™t need to know because they donâ€™t affect me.Â Iâ€™ve never had the instinct that he was lying to me about anything, ever, though my intuition has warned me when he was side-stepping issues Iâ€™d told him I refuse to discuss. I canâ€™t get upset about that because he was honoring my request.Â Heâ€™s Â never judged me, criticized me, or lied about me to other people.Â Somehow these are all things I expect of someone I can trust, but still I needed more.
I needed some kind of assurance.Â All this time, I have been looking for more evidence that he was a good person, that I could trust him to take care me when Iâ€™m feeling vulnerableâ€”and thatâ€™s a hard one.
I think, forÂ many reasons, Iâ€™ve been looking for a reason not to trust him and expecting to find one because thatâ€™s been a previous pattern in my life.Â But I never have found a reason not to trust him.Â Or reason enough to trust him.
Today, I found what I was looking for, and I found it in a simple statement, offered publicly.Â A heartfelt declaration of compassion. Â That was all. No more than a long sentence. Â He could have made it all about him and crowed to the world about his good fortune at the expense of others, but instead, he showed a remarkable level of sensitivity that I found deeply touchingâ€”and proof that he really is a good man.
And for showing me the kind of man he is underneath, yeah, I can trust him on just about anything.