Now Returning You to My Regularly Scheduled Programming….
In April, for the entire month, I was hyper-focused on productivity of creative projects. I barely slept 4 hours a night because I just couldn’t put down the work. I was having so much fun! A part of me kept saying, “But what about this guy you were interested in?” And though he was interesting, he couldn’t hold a candle to the creative projects that kept me up all night. We had a chance to spend a terrific weekend together before he left the country but I actually preferred to finish my creative project to the foot rubs he’d promised. But I was going with the creative energy and I knew that the social energy would come later, and that shifting my attention to him rather would have made the desired romance not flow so sweetly. My heart was elsewhere—in the children of my creation.
Over the summer, the energy focus honed in on home and hearth, on preparing and feathering my nest. That including all sorts of home repairs, major house refurbishment projects, and yard clean-ups that lasted the entire summer. I hated living in a construction zone but the results were sweet. Not only that, but I had both girls home for the summeras well as their houseguests and several spiritual gatherings. The house was full of good kitchen smells, flowers, live music, and laughter. The energy shifted away from good exercise habits, though, as my foot injury kept me from my usual routine.
Almost as soon as the major house projects were completed and the summer guests all left, the energy shifted into something social and sweet, with more date-able men arriving on my doorstep than I had time for. I really don’t have the patience to date three men at once, no matter how great they all are. But the autumn months shifted into new friendships and new relationships and away from work, creative projects, and good health habits. I let a lot of my daily chores and routines drop in favor of spending time with new friends (to which Luna will attest), but I knew enough to go with the flow of energy and just enjoy because the energy would shift focus soon enough.
Now it’s time for the next shift. In some ways, the shifts seem to be moving backward through the astrological houses and I’m not dealing with 2nd House issues, but I’m not certain of it. Just an observation that must bear out more testing.
This one seems to be more about tying up all those loose ends I’ve left flapping in the wind since summer. It’s sort of a backlash to go with the energy flow for so long but it’s shown me some very important things that I knew in my head and now have had reaffirmed in my heart. This shift or phase is about rearranging some things in the life I’ve built to have the life I want—and that means rekindling my good health habits, staying productive and creative, and structuring some streams of revenue that I won’t have to think much about.
You see, I know that if I’m emotionally involved with someone again, I’ll want to spend a lot of time with that person, not secreted away in a closet while I write my novels or working alone on a house repair project or dancing at a festival somewhere. So I need to make arrangements in my financial house so that I have time with and time away from my partner. That may be as simple of globetrotting with someone while I have my laptop under my arm. Or it may be that I spend two or three days working and then spend my weekends with a partner. I guess the point is, I want to splinter my focus as little as possible, and that means all the mundane stuff should run as smoothly as possible so that I can immerse myself in all aspects of life when they present themselves.
I’m not sure how long this particular shift will last, but the results are bound to be marvelous!
Now Returning You to My Regularly Scheduled Programming….
November 16, 2008 · by Lorna Tedder · in Miscellaneous
I’ve been shying away from talking about certain subjects recently, and I promise I’m going to stop that. Right now.
I pulled a series of articles/posts because I was afraid they’d be misconstrued by somone they weren’t about and would cause more trouble. But it really doesn’t matter because I think anything I write about will be misconstrued to someone’s advantage if that’s what they want to do, and I don’t know that my silence makes anyone’s life better, particularly when it’s about them only if they make it about them.
Sometimes it’s a very fine line to keep such a blog as this. I have written honestly about my life and insights knowing that many different kinds of people read my words–strangers, fans, my children, my mother, my ex-mom-in-law who hates my guts, my best friend, my former friends, my high school boyfriend, people I loved in college, my ex, my ex’s extended family and friends throughout North America, my coworkers, my students, my former High Priestess, my ex-boyfriends, men I’ve dated, the ex-wives and girlfriends of men I’ve dated, people from back home, neighbors, and my ex-husband’s girlfriend(s) before and after they became exes. Whether people love or hate me, I’ve never really shied away from what I write. I won’t stop writing about my spiritual insights just because I know someone who might make me squeamish is reading daily. I write my truth regardless of who reads it, and if they don’t like it, there’s plenty else to read online. I’m not forcing anyone to read what I have to say, nor am I forcing them to interpret it a certain way.
That said, I was upset that some of my posts have caused problems for certain people who know me and assumed it was all about them. With strangers, they write and tell me what a coincidence it is that they’re going through the same thing I’ve written about. With people who know me, they don’t assume a coincidence–they’re sure I know their secrets!
I’ll begin re-inserting the pulled posts this week. I share some of them with a small group and learned that they are valuable enough that I need to get them out there to the people they really do help.
I think that self censorship is one problem that many bloggers face. I don’t know that there is an easy solution, but if you are writing more for you, rather than your audience, then you should be posting what is important to YOU. Haha, maybe I need to take my own advice on that.