Sending Energy: Maybe You Shouldn’t

reiki cat by anomalous4.

Photo from  anomalous4 at; creative commons license.

Pagans and New Agers just loooooove to “send energy.”  Me included.  It makes me feel a little less powerless when someone else is in trouble, and if they use the energy in a way that’s helpful to them, I’m glad.  But it’s also a sign  of how codependent we sometimes are as spiritual people.  And it’s not always a good thing to do because it interferes with a process the Universe already has in place to get the recipient to where he needs to be.  (This has been on my mind a lot recently and 2 separate email questions about it now have me thinking even more on the issue.)

Of course, there are the usual ethical questions of healing someone else’s problems, for which we “send energy” as a nice little get-out-of-jail-free card to make sure we haven’t overstepped our bounds.  Yet, there is a fine line when it comes to the energy we send.  We rarely send energy simply to help someone deal with their issues or just to give them a boost.  In fact, we really think of sending energy—when not requested—as being a good and positive thing to do.  We think energy will help them be stronger and that that’s a good thing.  Or we attach our own intentions of feeling loved and we think that’s good, too.  Or we caveat our intentions with our old standby, “For their best and highest good,” which is one I’m personally fond of.  I’ve been guilty many times of thinking, “Okay, I can’t ask them if it’s okay for me to ‘do work’ so they can come to their freaking senses, so how about I  just send them some nice calming energy so that they can have a few days that aren’t so jagged?”

I’m being shown the other side of the “sending energy” issue now.  I’ve been caught up in such a situation for several weeks, and I’ve done NOTHING magickal to assist.  All my aid has been on the mundane level—emotional support in its simplest form.  I was given specific instructions NOT to “magick it” even though it would be very difficult for me to watch someone else endure the pain and frustration I knew were coming, and that their pain and frustration would cause me pain and frustration because I loved this person and didn’t want to see him hurt.Flying By Night novel

In fact, this person himself asked me not to do anything magickal in regard to his situation.  Otherwise, I probably would have.  At least at the “sending nice calming energy” level.   Yes, I would have defied Christopher Penczak’s advice to me not to be the “fix-it witch” and done it anyway.  For this person, I would have done almost anything.

I have now had the chance to see the effects of no magickal interference and the effect of interference, too.  I have watched this person endure some heart-pounding frustration and done nothing. Well, nothing except be there to talk to.   For him to grow as a person and make a huge change in his life, he had to be faced with this particular frustration.  It’s a very painful growth process for him (for me as well, to not step in).  But by not “magick-ing” the situation, the tension has stayed where it needed to be for him to make decisions he must make, however hard.   Sending nice, calming energy would have been a Band-Aid but would not have fixed the problem—just masked it for a little while longer or made it easier to look at.

So I’ve seen the power of NOT working magick for someone else but rather, letting things progress according to a Divine Plan.  And I’ve seen someone else apply that Band-Aid to the problem and cool things down that didn’t necessarily need to be cooled down.  After all my non-work, I watched tremendous progress stop in its tracks when someone else stepped in with loving energy to soothe the jagged situation.  The recipient, as a result, has now taken several steps backward, letting someone else mistreat him because he’s a little calmer under this new influence.

And that mirrors an old wound of my own.  I guess part of the twist in my stomach is because it reminds me of the handful of months when I was on anti-depressants during my marriage’s last years.  The drug, like some energy that’s sent with great love, made me more complacent and less effective in handling the situation I was in.  What I needed, I realized after a couple of months, was not to be content with my situation but to be feel all my jagged emotions enough to be angry enough to break free of the misery I was in.

Sometimes those jagged moments are necessary for a smoother path in the long run.