Be Careful What You Wish For
Photo by auntikhaki; creative commons license.
AND SHE WILL ALWAYS CARRY ON
SOMETHING IS LOST
BUT SOMETHING IS FOUND
THEY WILL KEEP ON SPEAKING HER NAME
SOME THINGS CHANGE
SOME STAY THE SAME
–“Hymn to Her,” The Pretenders
If you know me well enough to know what happened with my last relationship and still know me well enough to know what’s happening in my love life now, you’re probably laughing your ass off. As they say, “Be care what you wish for.”
I’ve done several significant rituals this year–not counting the Initiations and Elevations I facilitated–but rather, personally significant rituals. The two most important were at Winter and Summer Solstice, where all the astrological correspondences were absolutely perfect for my intentions. Some people say it doesn’t matter and others caveat their rituals with “And may all astrological correspondences for this working be correct,” but there’s really nothing like the power boost of a good chart!
The Summer Solstice ritual (first degree of Cancer) was to clear out old emotional garbage and bring in wonderful new emotions. Within a few hours, literally, things were happening that were truly a shock to my system as I watched old pains being washed away just as our symbolic handwashing had taken place in the Circle. Shannon and Brian and I commented frequently on how surreal the summer was, as we watched this path clear as we headed “around the river bend.”
I’d previously done a lot of Full Moon work to clear these paths, as well as a special ritual at Spring Equinox, which is the solar New Year (first degree of Aries). I also kept a list of the intentions I set for manifestation on the first degree of Capricorn, also known as Winter Solstice, with my burning bowl ritual. This one, I did with Shannon, and I kept a list of what I honored and said goodbye to and what I welcomed in for the next year. There were things on the list that manifested within a couple of months–amazingly quickly–and others I knew would take some time to line up, if at all. Some were just…crazy…but I added them to my wishlist anyway.
As of this night, there is only one intention on the list that has not come to pass. The seeds are there but I haven’t fed them actively…yet they are slowly sprouting, regardless of anything I do. It’s career-related and I didnt’ expect it to happen until the end of the year, so no surprise there. The most amazing things on the list, however, have to do with relationships and romance.
Something incredible has happened, when I least expected it and with whom I never would have expected. It’s funny how we all look for love and try so hard to manifest the right relationship and then when it does happen, even if we KNOW it’s coming and all our guides have told us it’s coming, we are still blindsided by it. It is in every way the romance I have always wanted, the kind that has eluded me for my entire life. The things that matter are all there and the things that don’t–that matter to many others–are not. Every conversation brings us closer, and I am discovering only more to like with every interaction.
There are just two problems, and they’re the same problems that ended my last major romance. Two totally preposterous situations, repeated with someone new. The question this time is whether they will dissipate or solidify. Last time, I approached the romance from a place of lack, hurt, and devastation, and believed those two problems to be insurmountable for an idealistic, noble man bent on doing the right thing. This time, I’m staying in the present moment as much as possible and so grateful for this amazing thing I’ve found for as long as it’s mine to enjoy, however brief or eternal. And that quite possibly, I am for the first time involved with a man who is emotionally intelligent and emotionally present.
What happens next, time will tell. It always does.