Scorpio Moon: Is It Real or Is It Illusion?
Photo by Old Shoe Woman
The moon’s in Scorpio again. And tonight, it’s a New Moon. When the moon’s in Scorpio, it’s all about secrets and intensity and sexuality. It’s also about fertility—of ideas and feelings and more—and about truth and trust.
The energies of this Samhain season have been intense, even before the moon’s latest transit. I hardly know a soul who isn’t feeling either weepy or aggravated for no reason. For those of us with reason, it’s been even worse. But I’ve made a nervous appointment with a doctor and I’m feeling much calmer today after my own quiet little Samhain ritual last night by a campfire in the back yard.
The evening didn’t go anything as planned. I ended up having to chauffeur both kids to Halloween events so we didn’t have time for the annual feast between my getting home from work and their need to run off to their own social lives. Returning home 30 minutes later to the huge box of candy having been emptied by the first greedy trick-or-treater didn’t help either. And then I had to make separate trips to pick up the girls when their events were over, so I knew I’d get a very, very late start to my own workings.
While driving to pick up Shannon, I asked the Gods to show me something about my relationships this past year as I release its energies and prepare for the new year and what it brings. I started thinking about disillusionment. We say someone is disillusioned and we see how sad they are. But they have been dis-illusioned. They’ve had their illusions stripped away from them. That should be a good thing, shouldn’t it? They should be happy that they no longer have illusions because they can focus on something real. Okay, so my own disillusionment almost destroyed me a couple of years ago.
Not long before midnight, I light a fire in the firepit. I cast a circle and call the Quarters. I honor my grandfather, Joe, and Anna, and all those I’ve loved who have passed. I honor the past lives that have gone on before me: Brynedd and Dageniam and Thomas and Rita and Alexandros and countless unnamed and unpronounceable ones. I honor the disillusionment of the past few years, and I honor the wonderful things and people who have come into my life in the past year and I honor those who have gone. Jillian, Jeaneen, Almolinumomiae, The Treat, others.
But see, that’s the problem with trying to discern what’s real and what’s illusion. You realize how much of life has been an illusion and you start to peel it off so you can live a “real” life. Only you don’t know what real looks like. And you see something special that doesn’t fit the mold of real, and you miss it or discount it, no matter how innovative your thinking normally is. The mind’s been trained to see reality and relationships a certain way and you think, Good, it’ll be okay when it’s undefined and different, but when it really is undefined and different and wonderful, you have no idea what to do with it. You want something that doesn’t fit, and when it doesn’t fit and it’s just what you’re looking for and hoping for, you don’t trust it, have no experience with it, can’t peg it. If you’re lucky, the best you can do is figure that at least your feelings are real, but if the reason for those feelings is illusion, then what’s the point but to torture yourself?
So I’m shown the truth. Now. Now when the Moon’s in Scorpio and I’m sitting by a Samhain fire and honoring what’s passed. My intuition was there all along but I was so set on my expectations of illusion that I never really believed it. And what’s to be done about it now?