Don’t Pity Me


Photo by SillyRabbit!

I’m not looking to be pitied, mainly because there’s no reason to pity me.

There’s an old voice in my head, one from my teen years, that says I must certainly be rather pathetic tonight.  It’s not just in my head, though, because too many friends and acquaintances confess to the same problem.

Yes, it’s late on a Friday evening, and I’m home alone.  I’m a smart, successful, independent, single woman, and I’m home alone on a Friday night–and just as often on Saturday nights.  But that’s no reason to pity me.

I’ve had a full and wonderful day, and already ditched plans tonight for a movie or any sort of social outing in favor of just hanging out around the house and relaxing.  Lovingly doing NOTHING.  Instead of going out on a wild date, clubbing with unmarried or married-but-cheating girlfriends, or sitting at a meat-market somewhere, I’ve taken care of a few chores, enjoyed a luxuriously long nap, caught up with a few friends online, finished a chapter of a new book, worked out, played with my websites, enjoyed the dripping fog outdoors, walked among my flowers,  and played with the dog when he wasn’t lying on the sweet spot–the rug in front of the altar.  Yes, that’s my definition of “doing nothing”!  It’s been peaceful and quiet and quite pleasant.

There’s still that voice in the back of my mind that says that if I’m not out having a wild time on a weekend night, then I must be worthy of pity.  You know, that I must be lonely or miserable.  I’m not.  I made a choice to be where I am tonight, working on the projects I enjoy.

The whole idea of having Friday and Saturday nights booked is ridiculous. It’s funny that these tend to be my free nights.  Most of my socializing with friends happens on Sunday nights or during the week.  Just works out that way.   Most of my dates happen during the week, simply because there are family obligations or trips or work schedules to deal with.  Sometimes I’m out of town over the weekends or at a pagan festival.   It just happens that I’m generally not doing much of anything–at least to the outside world–on Friday and Saturday nights at home.  They are, for the most part, open, which I love because that means I’m free for anything or anyone new who shows up on my doorstep.

The funny thing is how often a man will call and be surprised I’m home on a Friday or Saturday evening.  In fact, many people either seem surprised or a little judgmental because they subscribe to that old way of thinking, that we must defer our fun and socializing to the weekends.   After all, so many fault-finders are married and sitting home on the same nights as I am, often in a separate room from their spouse and kids!  But here’s the interesting thing:

Most of the men who contact me do so on Friday or Saturday nights when they’re home alone (and obvious don’t want to be), most of the emails I receive from single and coupled friends come on Friday or Saturday nights, and the traffic on my websites rises substantially on Friday and Saturday nights.

You know what that means?

I’m not the only one “sitting at home.”

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